Rules & Etiquette of the Contest

To watch a cinematic explanation of the game, click the following:

To the uninitiated, Pheasant may appear to be a simple amalgam of Football and Tennis. However, we have endeavoured to disguise these simplistic origins beneath a veil of florid language.

There are many forms of Pheasant, but they fit into two broad categories, depending on their location, namely Rural and Urban. The rules of craig (play) must be varied according to the surroundings and circumstances in which the participating Pheasanteers find themselves. All discussions must be carried out in a manner befitting a Gentleman, and duelling should only be called upon as a last resort. The rules below apply primarily to Championship Rural Pheasant, of the type played at the Grand Pheasant Championship.

In the Beginning

In the beginning, there shall be a court in which Pheasant justice shall be dispensed.

Said court shall consist of two (2) equal sides, bounded by a Fence. The sides shall be of a size suitable to the parameters of the playing environment, but shall certainly not exceed in length the wingspan of the South American Condor. A line shall bisect both sides, running at right-angles to the fence.

Rules of Play (Craig)

Deciding ends

Allocation of each end of the court to a Pheasanteer shall be decided by the toss of a guinea (a farthing, shilling, sixpence is acceptable in the case of pauper Pheasanteers).

Negotiating the Fence

The Fence must be crossed with a suitably extravagant bounding or skipping motion. Under no circumstances should a Pheasanteer merely walk around the Fence whether between matches or during craig.

Scoring

Games shall be scored in the following increments: 0, 15, 30, 40 (Any resemblance to the scoring system used in tennis is purely coincidental). 40-40 should be referred to as "Deuce".

Should Rumpelstiltskin win a game against Rapunzel, the Umpire should announce the result in the following manner: "Game not Rapunzel". Likewise, at Deuce, should Rumpelstiltskin win the point, the Umpire shall announce "Advantage not Rapunzel." The use of the inverse mystifies the unitiated, as is right and proper.

A match shall consist of a pre-agreed number of games or sets, in a fashion eerily similar to that employed by practitioners of the inferior game of tennis.

Serving

Service must take place from behind the baseline of the court, with the tablet landing in the diagonally opposite side of the court to the server. The tablet may bounce once before being struck by the server.

Open Play

During open play, Pheasanteers must attempt to guide the tablet across the Fence into their opponent's side of the court. Once the tablet has crossed the Fence, it may bounce only once, and receive no more than three (3) distinct touches from the Pheasanteer before crossing the Fence again. Under circumstances of exceptional stylishness, a Pheasanteer may use more than the regulation number of touches, but this rule is invoked at the discretion of the opposing Pheasanteer.

Contact with Side Walls

Should side walls be present, as is often the case during Urban Pheasant, the tablet may be played against the side wall only on the Pheasanteer's own side of the court. Should the tablet cross the Fence and strike the side wall before bouncing, it shall be deemed out of bounds, and the point awarded to the defending Pheasanteer.

Penalties

A point shall be awarded to the opposing Pheasanteer if:

• The service fails to land in the correct area of the court twice in succession.

• The defending Pheasanteer fails to return the tablet to his opponent's side of the court within the regulation number of touches and bounces.

• The tablet strikes the defending Pheasanteer upon the hand or lower arm.

All infringements of the rules of Pheasant should be met by combatants, Umpire and Spectators with the cry of "Fowl!"

Extra Penalties

• Demolition: Should one or more of the constituent parts of the Fence become dislodged completely by the tablet or a Pheasanteer, and the tablet then land outside of the bounds of play, then the Pheasanteer responsible shall be docked one (1) point. Should the tablet land in the defending Pheasanteer's side of the court, then the point shall be replayed

• The Fence may only be touched for the purpose of rebuilding after demolishment.

• Silliness: Any Pheasanteer who acts in a manner which brings the skill, masculinity or seriousness of Pheasant into question shall receive a Silliness Penalty. The accumulation of three (3) of these shall result in the forfeit of the match. Adjudication on Silliness Penalties shall be between all combatants, the Umpire and any Spectators, with the final decision resting with the Umpire.

Bonuses

Any manoeuvre which is deemed by an opponent and the Umpire to be particularly meritorious, for reasons of style, skill or flair, may be rewarded with a bonus point. The final decision on this matter shall again rest with the Umpire.

A point which is won using a Barnaby (the action of propelling the tablet using the chest) as the final touch shall count double. This is the Barnaby Bonus.

Flexibility of Pheasant

The rules specified above are for Championship Rural Pheasant (unless otherwise stated). The progenitors of Pheasant encourage the adaptation of the contest to suit the environment in which it is to take place. The only matter on which there is no flexibility is that conduct should at all times be gentlemanly.